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I’ve heard the phrase, “God, use me” many times. Whether it’s in a church service, a small group, or even my own prayer, it seems to be a common phrase among followers of Jesus.

This morning, as I was sharing my frustrations with God in relation to tasks I’m working through on the field. I found myself back at the phrase. “God, will you just use me? I feel like I’m here and all I’m doing is logistics…”

After I stated my perspective of this trip so far, God said, “Mmm,” With a pause, “What if I don’t?”

“Excuse me? What do you mean?” I instantly thought. God replied, “What if I don’t? What if I impact your people without using you?” A shot straight at my pride and perception of my placement in God’s work.

He continued, “Ellie, what if I move throughout this entire trip that changes everyone’s view of me, and your placement in it all was logistical. It was that you drove the bus to the airport, you paid for transportation in Costa Rica, and you made sure they had detergent to wash their clothes.” 

I didn’t know how to respond, because I wasn’t upset that God offered to move without me, but I was confused. I sat and thought for a moment and then said, “Okay, God move.”

In fact, the two word prayer that He would just move changes things. It allows me to know God can move without me praying Heaven down and preaching a message. 

I still matter when I feel frustrated, when I wonder if my squad only hears me give off commands, and if they know how I genuinely care about them. 

I remember, God can move and if my whole purpose was to support and create a space for my people to meet Him, then that’s a strong reason of saying, “Yes” to Costa Rica.

3 responses to “What if I don’t?”

  1. I love this! Logistics is sooooo important for a group to serve well. It’s my favorite part! Maybe that isn’t where you will remain long-term in your service to Jesus, but it is so important for you to know the logistics behind things and be able to appreciate and support those working in that role. It’s often very thankless, but you would now forever remember to thank those doing the organizational part of the service. Praying for you in your trip and service!